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And Neil Diamond Was Almost Eice Cherry
So I’m down to a just a few options for my new stage name. Tell me what you think.
The acoustic open mic at the Java Hole is this Tuesday. My one-man version of “Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You” is ready for public consumption. But I can’t go up there as Mike Smith. It’s, like, the most common name in America. And I am a very uncommon singer-songwriter-juggler. Check it out, the first one – and I like this, this is good – is Blue Raspberry. It sounds cool and rock n roll and everything. And it’s also one of my four favorite flavors of Go-Gurt, so it’s got that going for it. “Ladies and gentlemen: Blue Raspberry.” Yeah, I could get used to that.
Then there’s this one. Ready? Here it comes…Fred Storch. I’ve often been told there’s a pronounced F-Troop influence in all of my songs and my juggling act. What better stage name than a salute to my two favorite F-Troopers? Oooh, oooh, here’s another one I like: John Cougar. Sounds cool, right? I’d have instant name recognition. This Maxim article I read said cougars are really “in” right now. And they’re not even a wildlife magazine, so it must be a big deal. And it’s not like anybody else is using it right now. Gotta say, John Cougar’s a strong contender.
You can see why this is so hard when the names are all so great. And I haven’t even told you the best one yet. You ready for this one? Monsoon Titanium.
Isn’t it great? Like an irresistible monsoon colliding with a wall of immovable titanium, while juggling acoustic guitars. Hells yeah.
And the cool part is, it’s a salute to my favorite HDTV streaming gizmo. I just connect my Monsoon HAVA Titanium TV Streamer to my cable box or TV antenna or whatever and I can watch HDTV content from any Windows XP or Vista computer connected to the Internet, anywhere in the world. I can change the channel, timeshift, whatever. And like my music, it opens up a world of infinite possibility. Recording Xbox games in HD. Capturing TV shows and saving them to my hard drive. Fast-forwarding and rewinding live TV. If I have one-tenth the command over my sensitive poetic lyrics and banjo-inspired Appalachian fingerpicking that the “other” Monsoon Titanium has over HDTV streams, I’ll set that Java Hole crowd on fire.
Speaking of fire, that reminds me of another potential nom de me: Cinder Scorchburn. Talk about cool! Tell me you wouldn’t go see Cinder Scorchburn play.
OK, OK, fine. Stop telling me. I get the idea. You made your point.
Warranty: 1 Year Monsoon
Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty
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